Sixteen

I just thought you might like to know that there are currently 16 kiwi's on board at the moment and we got to have our photo taken the other day! The majority of us are nurses and all female! Where are all the kiwi males???

These Ladies

Can you imagine how it would feel to be constantly leaking urine? To become outcasted from your community? To have no one speak to you or touch you because you smell, and you leave a patch of wetness where ever you go? To have your husband leave you because apparently you must have committed some terrible sin against Allah or God to have either of them do this to you.

I cant.

I cant imagine how it must feel to have no one speak to me, to have no one touch me or to constantly feel wet from urine running down my legs, to be outed from my community. I dont want to imagine what it might be like, but for these women it is a daily reality. Their stories are all too similar. Each and every story I hear breaks my heart a little more. I was in labour for 2,3,4,5 days and the baby died. I have been leaking for 2,5,10,20 years. My husband abandoned me after the baby died and I when I started leaking. This is a disease of poverty in its worst kind. It is caused by a lack of maternal health care, a lack of understanding, and a lack of womens rights because women just aren't seen as important here.

We are just over half way through the six week block of VVF surgery on board for this outreach and for the most part the majority of women have danced, and prasied and gone home dry, including 5 of my ladies from last year Josephine, Sabine, Veronique, Rosali and Yaba. (Germaine is having surgery this week). How awesome it is to be a part of that and to be able to show them the love and affection that they have been craving and aching for for so long. But there are some that have had their surgeries and despite having one of the best fistula surgeons in the world they are still leaking. Two ladies in particular have both had 2 operations since being here and both times their surgeries have failed. They literally break my heart and I just dont understand how or why it happens. I know I can only see what is right in front of me and that God sees the whole picture but it doesnt mean I understand it any more. I'm sure Fati and Nimanbe are wondering why and questioning how could this happen as well. I know they are hurting too.

Here are a few of the pictures from the screening day I helped out with a few weeks ago.

Aren't they beautiful?

VVF Screening

The stench of stale urine has started to permeate the hospital corridors but more specifically B ward. Yes thats right, my favourite ladies are back and I couldnt be more excited! My heart is full right now, full of love for these ladies and full of hope and anticipation for their futures when they can go back to their families and to their villiages dry for the first time, sometimes after 40 or 50 years of leaking. For those of you who dont know, these ladies were the biggest reason for me wanting to come back to the ship.

We had our screeing day for them on Monday and screened nearly 70 ladies, only 4 of whom we had to say no to, either because their fistulas were too complex for us to fix or they weren't genuine fistulas. The rest are all booked in for surgery.

My job during the screening process was to take their health histories and ask some of the hard questions. Like, do you leak urine all the time? Is the bed wet when you wake up in the morning? Does urine run down your legs when you stand up? Did this start after you had a baby? How long did your labour last? Is the baby still alive or did they die? Did your husband leave you after you started leaking? Questions that are hard to ask and sometimes hard to hear the answer to.

The funniest part of my day was when one of my ladies I had screened insisted that her child see the doctor as well because they had the same problem as her, I had to hold my laughter in as I said to her Im sorry but there is no possible way that your 5 year old SON has the same problem as you and the doctor wont be able to see him! She was dissapointed understably but I told her she needed to take him to a local clinc to sort out whatever problem it was the poor boy was having.

I also got to see around 6 of the women that I had looked after last year. It was certainly bittersweet to see them again, so sweet to see them and to be able to hug them and show them love again but bitter because we do have to see them again. Josephine, Germaine, Sabine, Rosali, Veronique and Yaba. Names that will forever be etched onto my heart. Yaba who everytime she sees me says 'Beccy!' To which my reply is 'Yaba!' And we then carry on some kind of communication which consists of lots of hand actions and some vocab in her language and we finally agree on whatever the matter might be. My charades have definitly improved since being here and working with these ladies! My heart for these ladies is huge so please join with me in praying for them, praying that this time the are able to go home dry and that their hearts and souls are healed as well.

If you want to find out more about VVF I recommend you check out the movie A walk to Beautiful, you can see some of it online or check out their website

http://www.engelentertainment.com/walktobeautiful/of.html

Im famous?

Well apparently there was an article about me in one of the local papers back home, how exciting! I must say I feel a little proud and I know you are too Mum and Dad!

For those of you who havent seen it here is a link to the article, enjoy! :)

http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/local/hutt-news/3680091/Hutt-Hospital-nurse-Becky-Martin-sails-on-international-charity-ship

Afi

Forgive me.

I realise I havent written in over a month and for that I am sorry. I have no real reason or explaination to give you. Maybe a little writters block? Its not to say that I havent anything to write about I think its maybe more to do with the fact that I have had a lot of processing to do over the last few weeks and have had alot that has been on my heart that I just havent known how to share.

So I will begin with Afi.
Afi is one of the sweetest and coolest 5 year olds I have ever met, she has totally stolen my heart and she knows it. She came to us with a tumour in her mouth that was begining to obstruct her airway and had to be sent to theatre urgently to have a tracheostomy placed to allow her to breathe properly. She spent the next few weeks in the ward adjusting to breathing thru a tube in her neck and waiting for the results of the biopsy we took of her tumour. During that time of waiting for the results she contracted a nasty infection in her sputum and had to have several rounds of antibiotics to try and clear it up. After the fourth round we were finally successful and got the infection. After weeks of waiting the results came back saying it was a malignant cancer. Oh gosh. What do we do? Do we send her back home with palliative follow up? Do we attempt to take the tumour out and hope for the best?

Fortunately for Afi a head a neck specialist was due to arrive on the ship the following week so Dr Gary our resident maxilo-facial surgeon who is a very talented and humble man decided to wait for him and they would attempt to do the surgery together.

Im so grateful they did. Afi went to surgery over a week ago and is doing amazingly well, they were able to remove all of the tumour and are pretty postive that it wont return. It was news that nurse needed to hear. They removed her trach tube and she was able to breathe without any problems, she can eat properly again and be a normal 5 year old.

Awesome.

Baby Ani

Where do I start? My heart is heavy and full of hurting for Africa today.

Some of you may remember me speaking about baby Anicette while I was at home. She came to us last year in Benin for fattening up so we could repair her cleft lip, she was with us on and off for months and pretty much the whole time I was here on the ship. After lots of loving and feeding and fattening up we were able to operate and fix her broken lip. We sent her home all fat and beautiful, just how she was meant to be. This is how I remember her.

Ani came back to the ship last week. I hardly recognised her, she literally had her skin hanging off her bones, she was easily irritated and she didnt want you to touch her. She weighed only 4 kilograms at 14 months old, anybody would know thats no good. This wasnt the baby I remembered from last year, the fat, beautiful, happy, smiling baby Ani. She was world famous on the ship last year and stole the hearts of all those she met and we were all excited to see her again when she was due to come back to have her palate repaired. What happened? I asked her Mama when I first saw her, I dunno? She replied to me in her broken english, looking broken herself.

Yesterday Ani left us, she went home to heaven. Sometimes this place can just be too much for my heart to bear, it hurts and I want to know why? How could this happen? Words like chronic malnutrition, and a possible underlying metobolic disorder that we hadnt diagnosed were thrown around. Words that arent all that uncommon on this continent. It just brings it back to me that where you are born impacts on your circumstances. Why was I priviledged enough to be born into a loving family, in a country where chronic malnourishment is something that is barely spoken about? Where we can treat and diagnose diseases so easily? I know that I have been blessed so that I can bless others and I know that someone far greater than me is in control of all of this but it doesnt mean that it hurts any less. Sometimes I just dont understand. We had put so much of our hearts and souls and hope into baby Ani. It just wasn't meant to end like this.

Please pray for her family as they grieve for baby Ani.

D Ward

Since I have been back on the ship I have been mainly working in D ward. Generally this is where all the max fac's patients are. For those of you who dont know what max fac's is its maxillofacial surgeries so people who have the massive tumours protruding from their faces or the kiddies and sometimes adults who have cleft lips and palates.
Last year when I was here I could count the number of times I worked in D ward on one hand, for some reason I was just put in the other wards with all the general surgeries, plastics surgeries and of course with my all time favourites the VVF ladies. (Who are coming back at the end of May, Hooray!!)

So despite the fact I hardly worked in D ward last year I must say that I do quite like it down there. I love the nursing I am able to do here and how it is just so different from home. I love how these people really know how to live in community, and the way they relate to each other, they have so much to teach us. If someone in the ward has a problem then that problem becomes the whole wards problem, everyone gets involved. Like when Jean's Mama was tired and needed a break from looking after him, little Afi's Mama from bed 12 would strap Jean onto her back just so his Mama could have a break and rest or take a shower. Little Jean had come in to have his lip and palate repaired, he was 18 months old, had cerebal palsy and he had a twin brother Jaque at home who was staying with his Papa. His Mama was so devoted to him and I loved watching the way she just loved all over him and sung songs to him in Ewe and how he would respond to her with his smiles and gurgles. Oh it made my heart smile. I just think it might be a little hard going back to working in a ward at home.

A little adjusting

I have been back less than a week and Im slowly starting to settle back in. I think it has been a little harder than I expected. I think there was a part of me that just expected to slip back into where I left, instead I have felt a little lost and have been trying to find my place here again. I have had a couple of days when I have felt quite overwhelmed at the amount of new people that are around and just trying to adjust to being back here. Im sure it hasnt been helped by the jetlag and not sleeping properly.

I have had a few shifts back on the wards and that has helped to remind me of why I am back here. I was able to sit with one of my patients the other day and colour in with her and speak some of the small small Fon that I learnt last year in Benin (she has come to us from Benin and Fon is one of the 52 languages spoken there). She had me laughing so hard when I was trying to teach her how to count in english, she was copying the way I was pronouncing it and she started to sound like she was a New Zealander the way she was pronouncing it. Its the small things like that, sitting with her and trying to speak Fon, colouring in in a colouring in book and teaching her how to count in english that make me realise how blessed I am to be here and why I love it here so much. Where else can you go to work and sit and colour in with one of your patients?

I got to go out and off the ship the other night for a drink with a few friends. It was great to get out and see a little of Lomé. The main city centre is about an hours walk away or a 15 minute taxi ride, they dont seem to have as many zemijands (motorbike taxi's) here as they did in Benin so I think it might be a little harder to get around here. In the short distance we walked I was able to experience lots of the things I love about Africa. Like the African Mama's walking along with their babes strapped to their backs and all sorts of goodies for sale upon their heads. I got a little of that african dirt on my feet too. Oh it was great and I am glad to be back.

Im back

After around 32 hours of flying half way round the world and around another 10 hours of waiting in between at various airports I made it to Togo! What a long and tiring journey! I dont think I would ever choose to fly straight through like that again. It was great to meet up with my friend Maggie and have a travelling companion for the last few legs of the journey.

Its good to be back and to see some familiar faces again but then there is also a bazillion new faces that are around as well. Its been a little overwhelming the last couple of days trying to readjust to that as in some ways it feels like I never left and I keep walking around seeing all these new faces thinking what are you doing in my house?? Im sure its not really helped by the jetlag and not sleeping properly yet either. It might just take a little longer to adjust to than I thought.

The port is different as well, I keep looking outside expecting to see the same port as last year but its not. This port seems much busier than Benin. On one side there is the Togolese Navy which consists of 2 rather small ships and maybe a few speed boats? On the other is the main port, I havent been out to explore it too much yet as we have been without shore leave since I arrived due to the Togo elections last week and the risk of unrest. Hopefully we will be able to get out by the weekend so I can go out and get my head around being in this new city.

I start back in the wards on Tuesday, Im looking forward to getting back into it and being a nurse again and also getting to love on some all too cute african babies.

Gratitude

I had my coffee and dessert evening last night and I have to say I am totally overwhelmed and humbled by the support and encouragement that was shown to me.
I raised far more than I ever expected and I just want to say a huge thank you to the person who anonymously donated to me over and above anything I could have ever asked for. WOW. You made me cry. I am in awe of your servants heart. What more can I say than thank you? I pray that God blesses you just as abundantly as you have blessed me.

I feel so priviledged to be able to use my nursing skills in such a unique way and to be a part of an organisation that enables me to do that.

4 sleeps left in my own bed.... The coutdown is certainly on.

Quick facts about Togo

Togo is ranked as one of the poorest nations in the world, its ranked by the human development index at 159 out of 182. Access to health care is inadequate, the under five mortality rate is 140 out of 1000 babies born. Life expectancy is only 58.

Capital
Lome
Area
56,785km2
Population
5,285,501
Language
French, Ewe, Mina, Kabye, Dagomba (plus many more)
Currency
CFA
Government
Currently in the election process
Religion
Indigenous beliefs 51%, Christian 29%, Muslim 20%.

If you read my last post you'll know I cant wait to get there. I leave home in a week today!

I cant wait

I leave in two weeks today. With much less apprehension in my heart and far more peace than the last time I was heading off to Africa and off to the unknown. Because this time I know this is where I am meant to be, not that I didnt know that last time but there was all the 'unknown' that went along with leaving.

You wouldnt believe how excited I am to be going back. I just cant wait. I cant wait to feel the heat of the african sun beating down on my face, to get some of that african dirt on my feet and breathe in that not so fresh african air, to feel the sweat dripping down my back, (well maybe I can wait for that). I cant wait to see those african Mama's walking along the street with their babes strapped tightly to their backs with brightly coloured strips of fabric carrying all sorts of wares for sale upon their heads, to feel the weight of one of those babes in my arms, to step out into the chaos of an african city and soak up all the sights, sounds and smells that my poor senses can take in and that I know I will be assulted with once I step off that plane and back onto african soil.
Oh I cant wait.
I cant wait to see what is in store for this new outreach, the new patients that are going to step onto that big white ship and walk back out with not only physical healing but also emotional and spirtual healing. The ship is docked in Lome Togo this year and Im sure the need there is just as great as it was last year in Benin.

I fly out on the 4th of March and head to London where I get to meet up with my awesome friend Maggie who I met on the ship last year and who is also returning to the ship. We have a night in London and then we fly on down to Togo together.
Oh I just cant wait.

On a sidenote I am having another coffee and dessert fundraising evening on the 27th of February at my church 51 Lane Street Upper Hutt 7pm onwards, $15 for singles $25 for couples, I would love it for you to come and hear all about what I have been up to over the last 7 months and see more of what I will be up to once I get back.

Home...

So I'm back home. I'm excited to be back but I must say it feels a little strange, almost like I never left, but I know I did leave and that I changed alot during my time away.

So the things I missed the most other than my family and friends?
Having the freedom to just hop in my car and go for a drive
Fresh cold milk
Poached eggs on toast
New Zealand chocolate
My queen sized bed
Hanging my washing outside on the line to dry
Showers longer than 2 minutes!
Waking up to natural light in my bedroom

So while I missed all these things while I was away and I am enjoying having them back while I am home I learned to live quite happily without them while I was on the ship. I think the biggest lesson I learned while away was to be content whatever the circumstances. I was content living in a dark cabin with no windows, sleeping on a narrow bunk bed and sharing my living quaters with 5 other females. I was content while I was there and have never had such a peace about something like I felt while I was there. I knew it was where I was meant to be which makes it a little hard being back home.
But... For those of you who dont know, I'm heading back. Back to where I felt utter contentment and where my heart was filled with so much peace and joy. And I'm excited about that.