So all the surgeries for the year have finished and we have started to pack up some of the wards in preparation for the sail. We still have one ward open until the end of next week and any patients we have remaining will be sent to local hospitals until they are able to be sent home. We still have two VVF ladies in the ward both who had wounds that broke down post their surgeries but they are doing alot better now altho they will both probably have to be sent to a local hospital. My sweet friend Agath was sent home still leaking, it breaks my heart that we were unable to send her home dry this time. She has been reffered to Togo so I can only hope and pray that she becomes healed while she is there.
Im not sure how I feel about the outreach coming to an end because I have this overwhelming sense that my work here is not done. I go out off the ship and into town and have an aching in my heart that I just cant leave here. I recently came across a website that was talking about how they need Africa more than Africa needs them the following is an excerpt from it and it explains exactly how I feel about being here with the words that I was unable to find.
When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.
The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.
My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy.
I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me.
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