Sailing Day

Today is the day we sail. After spending the last week and a half double bleaching everything in sight in the hospital and packing and tying everything down we are ready to go.

Walking along the hospital corridors feels a little strange now, no patients around, no singing or dancing or children running along the corridors or any general noise, just silence. Its a surreal feeling seeing everything packed up and not having patients there.

My job during the sail is to scan all of the patients notes, all 10 months worth. Thankfully Im not doing this alone and alot of them have already been scanned. Once they have all been scanned onto the computer they are then incinerated. I think it may become a little mundane after a while but in some respects its kind of nice having a job that I dont have to think to much about and I think it also might be kinda cool to come across patients files that I remember looking after and just be able to send up a little prayer for them.

Because we are leaving today my heart feels a little heavy, heavy for selfish reasons tho because Im leaving behind so many people that have really touched me while I have been here, friendships that I have made and so many thousands of patients that have passed thru the hospital that have left an impression on me. I feel like Im leaving a piece of myself behind in Benin.

Over 6000 operations were performed onboard over the last 10 months and Im so excited, grateful and a little proud to have been apart of that, so many lives have been transformed because of the work that has been done here.

So on we sail to Tenerife. After 10 days of sailing I will spend 2 days in Tenerife before heading back to England to spend a few weeks and christmas with family there and then heading back home to NZ on the 12th of Jan! I must say its been a long but certainly awesome 6 and a half months with lots of ups and downs but I would give anything to do it all over again.

Oh Africa, the end of the outreach

So all the surgeries for the year have finished and we have started to pack up some of the wards in preparation for the sail. We still have one ward open until the end of next week and any patients we have remaining will be sent to local hospitals until they are able to be sent home. We still have two VVF ladies in the ward both who had wounds that broke down post their surgeries but they are doing alot better now altho they will both probably have to be sent to a local hospital. My sweet friend Agath was sent home still leaking, it breaks my heart that we were unable to send her home dry this time. She has been reffered to Togo so I can only hope and pray that she becomes healed while she is there.

Im not sure how I feel about the outreach coming to an end because I have this overwhelming sense that my work here is not done. I go out off the ship and into town and have an aching in my heart that I just cant leave here. I recently came across a website that was talking about how they need Africa more than Africa needs them the following is an excerpt from it and it explains exactly how I feel about being here with the words that I was unable to find.

When I think of Africa, the following images immediately come to mind: Starvation. AIDS. Child soldiers. Genocide. Sex slaves. Orphans. From there, my thoughts naturally turn to how I can help, how I can make a difference. "I am needed here," I think. "They have so little, and I have so much." It's true, there are great tragedies playing out in Africa everyday. There is often a level of suffering here that is unimaginable until you have seen it, and even then it is difficult to believe. But what is even harder is reconciling the challenges that many Africans face with the joy I see in those same people. It's a joy that comes from somewhere I cannot fathom, not within the framework that has been my life to this day.

The images spilling out of my television showed circumstances that could seemingly only equal misery, and I was fooled. I bought into the lie that circumstance defines happiness. The truth is, in Africa I find hearts full of victory, indomitable spirits. In places where despair should thrive, instead I find adults dancing and singing, and children playing soccer with a ball crafted of tied up trash. Instead of payback, I find grace. Here, weekend getaways are not options to provide relief from the pains of daily life. Relationships and faith provide joy. Love is sovereign.

My new reality… I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances. I'm ashamed by my lack of faith, but at the very same moment I am excited by my new pursuit. I'm forced to redefine the meaning of having much or having little. I'm uneasy with the prospect of change and of letting go, but just the thought of freedom is liberating. I want what I have learned to trickle down from my head into my heart - I no longer want to need the "next thing" to have joy.

I'm not saying that Africa does not need our efforts. It absolutely does need our partnership. But for me, I've come to understand that I NEED AFRICA MORE THAN AFRICA NEEDS ME. Why? Because it is Africa that has taught me that possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart. I've learned that I don't need what I have and that I have what I need. These are just a few of this continent's many lessons. I came here to serve and yet I've found that I have so much to learn, and Africa, with all its need, has much to teach me.

If you want to read more then you can check out

https://www.mochaclub.org/i-need-africa

VVF Ladies Return!

The VVF ladies have returned and its making my heart smile! I love these ladies like nothing else. We had a screening day last week and saw over 30 ladies, some were ladies that we had sent home still leaking from earlier on in the outreach but many of them were new arrivals. It was bittersweet to see some of them return.

We have the space to perform 20 operations over two weeks, and Im sure its going to be an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows. Highs when they are able to go home dry and we can sing and dance for joy with them and lows when they leave here still leaking.

One patient I looked after when she was here earlier on in the outreach has returned, her name is Agath and she is only 21, she has lived with this fistula for nearly 6 years. She was 16 when she became pregnant to her then husband (he has since desserted her) leaving her alone and feeling rejected. She left here last time still leaking and has returned for us to have another attempt at repairing the hole in her bladder. I was so excited to see her again when she turned up at the screening, I walked into the ward and I heard this voice full of excitement say 'Beccy!' I ran over to her and gave her the biggest hug and told her that I was so happy to see her again and said that this time I pray that we will send you home dry. Sadly since her operation she has been leaking. It breaks my heart that we may end up sending her home again still leaking. She is only 21 and still has her whole life ahead of her. We have told her we will not give up but I know that she is heart broken too. For those of you who are praying please pray that Agath goes home dry this time.

The World Health Organization has estimated that approximately 2 million women worldwide have untreated VVF and that approximately 100,000 women develop VVF each year. What we do here on the ship is literally just a drop in an ocean so huge its almost incomprehensible but we are making big difference to those we are able to help and for that Im grateful.

Seasons

I know that there is a season for everything under the sun and that all seasons must come to an end but lately I have been feeling that Im not quite ready for this season of my life to come to an end. How to deal with that has been a little struggle for me over the last week or two. The ship is due to leave Benin on the 8th of December and yes that is still a little while away but its getting closer and closer and I dont I like it. Its strange to think about how worried I was about coming here and yet now that I am here, Im not wanting it to end and Im not wanting to leave.


Being here has been a life changing experience for me and I know I have changed alot since I have been here, even in just the way I see and feel about things. I've learned to be grateful for some of the smaller things in life, things like some of the conversations I have with people, the friendships I've made, the people I have met, lived and worked with for the last four and a half months. Some of the friendships I have made I know will be lifelong friendships but some of these people who I have met and worked with especially my friends that I have made here in Benin I'm not sure if I will ever see them again, well on this earth anyway. That can be a little hard to comprehend at times. But in saying all that I am forever grateful that I have been allowed to have this experience and know that all good things must come to an end.

Out and about in Cotonou

What to do in Cotonou on a day off? There is certainly plenty to choose from. Be it going to one of the smaller local markets or the Dantokpa market which is one of the biggest markets in West Africa, swimming in one of the local hotel swimming pool, getting to go out with one of my translator friends or exploring this hectic city that the ship is docked in.

Going to Dantokpa market is quite the cultural experience and not really for the faint hearted. You can buy anything and everything you could possibly ever imagine needing, from cosmetics to underwear and clothing to fruit and vegetables to live goats and chickens to electronic goods like irons and blenders to any medication you could possibly imagine needing all without prescription! The sheer madness and crazyness of the market is hard to describe unless its something you experience yourself, there are thousands of people to contend with and they are all shouting out at you ''yovo yovo! I give you good price!'' The heat and the intense smells that seem to permeate the air within the market is something that is hard to put into words.

The city itself is hectic and busy like any city you might come across, it can be quite the challenge to just cross the road. Dodging a gazillion motorbikes and cars coming at you and no-one obeying road rules (Im not sure if they even know what they are) The trick is to find a local thats crossing the road at the same time and go with them, they seem to have had lots of practice at this!

Getting to go out with one of my translator friends is also a treat, not being able to speak the local language but having a translator on hand makes it so much easier to communicate with people you come across. I truely apprecitate it when I am given a small but often brief glimpse into the realities of life and living here and getting to go out and off ship with them certainly gives me that.

Living on a ship

Sometimes the fact that I live on a ship drives me a little crazy. Dont get me wrong I very much appreciate all the western creature comforts the ship provides like running hot water, flushing toilets, electricity and a starbucks cafe but the fact that I dont live in the 'real' africa sometimes gets to me. But then I wonder to myself could I really survive living out there? I'm sure if I really had to I would be able to but in all reality would I want to? Im not to sure what the answer to that is just yet.

So I live on the 3rd deck and there are 8 decks in total. We have gurkhas that man our gangway, the picture above is of me with Ganesh one of our four friendly gurkhas. The hospital is also on the 3rd deck so its just a short stroll down the corridor and Im at work for the day, no worries about traffic jams or having to get up early to travel to work! There are no windows on the 3rd deck so it must be quite strange for our patients having no natural light sometimes for up to 2 weeks! But if we can we usually take them up to deck 7 every afternoon to give them some fresh air and let them see some real daylight.

One of things I love about the ship is living in a community with 400 or so other people and all being here for the same purpose but then in saying that, it can also be one of the worse things too. Just for the reason that you can never really get away from anyone, there is always someone else around and for a girl who likes to have her own space that can be a little hard!
Sometimes you can really feel the ship swaying and other times you can hardly feel it at all. There is always some kind of noise to be heard whether the noise of the engines or the generators running or some other noise going on.

I know that if I havent been off the ship for a few days I start to feel like I need to get out and get some of that not always so fresh African air in my lungs and some of the dust on my feet just to remind myself that yes I am here in Africa and to remind myself of why I am really here. Thats the thing about being here, I think it gets in under your skin, and I know its going to be pretty hard to leave.

Some thoughts from Africa

Well I am the first to admit that I have been pretty slack at keeping everyone updated while I have been here. I wonder to myself why that is and think its maybe to do with the fact that I just dont know where to start. How do I begin to describe what I am seeing and experiencing when I find it hard to put into words myself? I know that I have changed since I have been here and I wonder how evident it will be to people when I return home.

Its hard to believe that I have been here nearly 3 months already and Im nearly halfway through. Time is flying by and I feel I still have so much I want and need to do. I have met some truely amazing people while I have been here and have made many friendships that I know will last a lifetime.

I have also seen things that have literally broken my heart. On the 31st of July we had a beautiful baby arrive on the ship to become part of our feeding program. He was 9 months old and weighed only 3kg. He had had his cleft lip repaired in April but was awating to have his palate repaired at some stage in November but before we could repair that for him he needed some fattening up. He was doing really well for about 3 weeks, gaining weight and starting to look fat and beautiful when he developed pneumonia and malaria and some other viral illness we were unable to diagnose due to our lack of resources. He ended up in the ICU with a tube to help him breath and a million other tubes coming out of his little body while he was struggling to survive. Finally on a Monday morning at around 10am his Papa said enough suffering, stop all the treatment. Everything was turned off and his Papa held him tight while he passed away in his arms. He was given his last bath put in clean clothes and his Mama put him onto her back and they walked down the gangway with their dead baby. It has to be one of the saddest things I have ever seen. The way his Mama gently put her dead baby on her back is something I will never ever forget.


Despite all the heartache and hardships and ups and downs I have had since being here I am totally content. I am content with the fact that I live in a dark cabin that has no natural light, I live with 5 other females and I sleep on a narrow bunk bed.

I really couldnt imagine being anywhere else right now.

Life in the wards

Life in the wards here is totally different to my life in the ward I was working in back home. After working in a busy acute surgical ward this is a breeze! On a typical shift here we start by praying for our patients and the for the shift ahead of us, after that we recieve hand over of our patients and start our tasks for the day. Quite often this includes health education and teaching our patients about what to expect before and after surgery, monitoring them after surgery, giving out medications, playing games with them and generally spending time chatting with them. Although this can be very hard due to the language barrier! So generally we have to use our translators to be able to actually communicate with them which I found hugely frustrating at first but now find it strange if I actually have a patient that can speak english!!

I very rarely give anything IV (intravenous) other than fluids, I havent done many complex dressings or had many 'really sick' patients. I take a lot of vital signs and hand out an awful lot of pain medications, sometimes I dont even feel like I am a 'real nurse' here but I must admit I still love it and I know its where I am meant to be for now.

Trip to Calavi University

Hello again

On Wednesday this last week one of my translator friends Daniel invited me and two of my friends Maggie and Bonnie from the ship to go and visit him at the university that he attends here in Cotonou and I would have to say it was one of the best trips off the ship that I have had here so far. It was a really great insight into real life for someone that lives here. He took us on a tour around the university which is similar in many ways to any university anywhere in the world but then so different at the same time. He showed us around and inside some of the lecture halls and thru the library, plus inside the student radio station. What we saw was only a fraction of the campus as it is actually really big. Parts of it were well kept grounds but then other areas were just covered with litter everywhere, it made me sad to think that such well educated people would think nothing of just dropping their rubbish on the ground and I said so to my friend Maggie and she said but if thats all they have ever known then why would they change? I guess it makes sense but it bothered me and it still does.

After touring around the campus and meeting various friends of Daniels along the way plus a proposal from one of them I might add! Daniel took us to meet one of his best friends who lives in some of the student accomodation just off the campus. We walked around with him and one of his friends and sister for a little while before heading to Daniel's house. His house was simple but clean and tidy (he admitted later that he had spring cleaned for us!) It consisted of just two rooms, a front room with a dining table in it and then his bedroom, it also had a small out house type room out the back but no running water, or toilet. I wanted to ask about that but decided it wasnt such a good idea. We sat and chatted with him and his friends who spoke ''small small english'' for a while then Daniel decided we should go and have dinner before we returned to the ship. He took us to a small open restaurant on the campus and we ate a meal of Alche ke which consisted of something similar to cous cous with a spicy sauce and then fish (for those of you who know me well you would know I hate fish so you can imagine I wasnt overly happy about his choice of food for us!) But I graciously tried it and for the most part it was pretty good I have to say!

After dinner he ushered us into a taxi and waved us off to the ship. It was one of the coolest days I have had here and his hospitality was awesome, so thank you Daniel for a lovely day!

Adventures in Dassa Zoume!

Bonjour!

Well this weekend a group of 14 crazy yovo (white person) nurses decided to ventutre out to a place called Dassa Zoume, and what an adventure we had!!

It all started on Saturday morning at 8am waiting for our pre-arranged transport up to Dassa which is about 3-4 hours away from Cotonou. We sat and waited and waited and waited until about 9.30am when we thought hmm perhaps they're not coming? So someone went inside to try ring and find out where our drivers were and werent able to contact them. Meanwhile some of our translators heard about our dilemma and came up to the dock and said give us 20minutes and we will get you a car to get to Dassa! So apprehensively we said ok, thinking hmm yeah right! How will you find us a car that will fit 14 people in 20 minutes? But true to their word they showed up half an hour later with an old ambulance that could comfortably sit 15-16 people easily, was the funniest thing ever but so cool that they did it for us.

So after driving for 3 or 4 hours along some smooth and some rough roads we arrived at our destination of Dassa Zoume. The hotel was pretty good by african standards, we had running water and flush toilets altho the shower was cold it was quite refreshing and did the job. After settling in we decided to have a walk around the town and found a huge catholic church so had a wander thru, Dassa is famous for this catholic church and for its rocky mountains, they have a pilgrimage every year in August because apparently the vigin Mary appeared there once upon a time. So after looking thru the church someone thought it would be a good idea to climb up one of these mountains, so then here we are climbing up the side of this rocky mountain in Jandles i might add, climbing thru peoples backyards yelling out Bonsoir! Ca va? (Hello! How are you?) And then some of the locales decided they just might join us so there was about 15 or so of us all climbing up this mountain, was great fun!

The next day we got up early and travelled for about two hours to look for hippos and we apparently saw one but I'm still sceptical as to whether it really was one but since coming back and talking to people they seem to think it probably was. We went out on these little canoes so didnt get too close to see for sure if it really was one!

Well untill next time Beccy

The Hospitality Centre

Hi everyone

Sorry for not updating for a while life has been a little hetic and finding time to write has been a little hard lately! We have been trying to complete as many operations as possible in the last week or so as we are having a black out during this weekend and then next weekend we are moving the ship down the harbour for refueling so we are rushing them thru and hoping to get as many patients off the wards as possible. At the moment any patients we have left are being moved to our hospitality centre. This is an abandoned warehouse that Mercy Ships has converted into a hostel type place for our patients who are usually pre and post op that live away from Cotonou where the ship is docked. It makes it easier if they need to come back to the ship for any type of follow up etc. It has around 40 beds and patients usually only stay there for a few days while transport is organised for them to get back home.

The other day a few of my friends and I went and visited some of our VVF ladies who have been discharged and are waiting for transport back up north to their villages. We ended up having a nail painting party with them and painted I dont know how many finger nails and toes! Was so much fun to just spend time with some of them off the ward and be able to take photos with them (we aren't allowed to take photos on the ward, which is understandable). I even had my nails painted, it certainly was no pedicure or manicure but it was pretty cool!

These ladies are very special despite all the adversities that life has thrown at them and they all have some amazing and unique stories to tell. They have really touched my heart while I have been here and I have loved looking after them so I'm a little sad to hear that we have fininshed all of our VVF surgeries for the year. We still have a few of them left in the ward at the moment but they will all be leaving in the next week or two. Mercy ships actually have a permanent land base in Sierra Leone for VVF patients so you just never know I may just end up there at some stage.

Well until next time and I promise no to take as long!

Beccy

Rebecca's Story

This week I wanted to share a patients story with you, her name is Rebecca and I looked after her for only 2 days but I felt a special bond with her because of our shared name so here is her story...

Rebecca: From Suffering to Joy

“I was eighteen years old when this happened to me,” Rebecca says. She is speaking in her native dialect in front of dozens of people. She is wearing a new dress to symbolize her new life as she shares her story of suffering.

“I was in labor for five days, and finally I went to the hospital. The baby was dead. And I was wounded in [such] a way that I thought I would never walk again.”

Rebecca, now 35 years old, traveled from neighboring Togo to the Mercy Ship in Benin. She had shouldered the burden of obstetric fistula for 17 years. This childbirth injury often occurs in areas without adequate obstetric care and leaves the mother incontinent. Often the woman is abandoned by her husband, and having more children becomes difficult or impossible.

At first Philip, the baby’s father, did abandon her. For the next few months, Rebecca’s family took care of her. Eventually, Philip returned. “It was God who brought him back,” Rebecca says. Otherwise, she feels she might have been alone forever.

Rebecca and Philip were married and now have five children, but she still carried the shame of her condition and tried to hide it from everyone around her. She did not leave the house, and the only person outside her family who knew of her condition was her neighbor, who saw her washing out soiled clothes and hanging them to dry.

“I worried for so long,” Rebecca says. “I was very discouraged, and because I didn’t have enough money, I couldn’t go to the hospital for treatment.”

When Rebecca eventually came to the Mercy Ship, a nurse sat with her and asked her the standard questions to establish her medical history – questions that were painful for Rebecca to answer. How many children have you delivered? How many are still alive? How long ago did the injury occur? Did your husband leave you? As the nurse paused in her questions and put her hand on Rebecca’s knee, Rebecca began to cry.

Then, the night before her surgery, Rebecca lay in her hospital bed and tears formed in her eyes as she remembered the long years of suffering that lay behind her.

“I just remembered [the] past,” Rebecca says. “For seventeen years, I have been like this.” Those years were long and hard as she fought to forget her problem so she could be a good mother, trying to find the right answers when her children asked why she needed to layer cloth beneath her before she went to bed at night.

Now, as Rebecca shares her story, there is no sadness, because her surgery was successful. Her smile is constant and sweet. She wants to sing, dance and give thanks. Rebecca goes home with her shame replaced by hope for the future. She is happy to be with her children, her husband, her family, and her neighbors. She is healed, in both her body and spirit.

“I was so thirsty and I came here to the Mercy Ship and was given a drink. You have taken care of me better than a mother. You have done everything – even clothed me,” she joyfully says as she smiles and motions to her beautiful new dress.

Story by Carmen Radley

A busy week

Bonjour again

Its been quite a week. I have visted an orphanage, been to a dress ceremony for some of our VVF ladies, to a ward church service which was an experience all on its own and have also been out and about in Cotonou soaking up the African atmosphere! As well as working on the ward of course. I still have to pinch myself sometimes to remind myself that yes I am actually in Africa. Its easy to forget especially if you dont get off the ship for a day or two. With all the creature comforts of home on board like the air con and hot showers, albeit short ones! Then you go into the city and you can see all the poverty thats everywhere here so there can be a bit of internal conflict going on. It definately makes you appreciate what we have back home.

We had our second screening day last Monday as I said in my previous post and unfortunately we were unable to help any of the 1150 people that showed up BUT Mercy Ships have anounced that they will be going to Togo next year! So many of the people that were screened here in Benin will be able to be seen again in Togo next year so it is a huge blessing for those that we had to say no to for this year.

The work on the ward so far has been great. I have been mainly working in the VVF ward (Vesico Vaginal Fistulas for those who dont know) These are ladies who end up leaking urine due to a prolonged labour. They can be in labour for up to 8 days and the pressure of the baby being in the birth canal for so long causes a hole between the bladder and her womb so she ends up leaking urine, often the baby will die because they just dont have the access to medical care like we do back in the western world. Their husbands and families often then abandon them and they become outcasts from their villages. Some of these ladies have been leaking urine for 20 years or more but help is at hand from The Big White Ship! They are so much fun to look after and are so grateful to us for being here. Many of them still have huge faith even after dealing with everything that life has thrown at them. After they have had their surgeries and have recovered we have a dress ceremony for them. We present each of them with a brand new dress and a brand new start in life! Its such a priviledge to be a part of bringing hope and healing into their lives.

I wanted to post some pictures from the ceremony but have to wait a few days for them to be ready from the communications department so will be sure to post them when they are. In the mean time here is a picture of me on the ward with some fellow nurses and some of our very handy translators!

Untill next time, Beccy

Bonjour from Benin!

Bonjour!

Well as you can see I have arrived in Benin! Its very hot, humid, and dusty! I arrived last Sunday night at about 10pm in the evening so have been here just over a week and it has gone really fast! The flight here was pretty smooth and quick from Paris altho we were delayed in Paris for around an hour or so due to security reasons, but what they were Im not to sure.

The ship is much bigger than I expected and I have gotten myself lost a few times but am slowly learning my way around. The swaying movment of the ship has been a little hard to get used to, my brain felt like it was swimming inside my head for a few days but its getting better!

I have had lots of meetings and orientations over the last week so I have been kept rather busy with them and also meeting so many new people! Its a little overwhelming and exhusting but everyone here is really friendly and welcoming so that makes it easier.

I've started working in the ward and its been great fun so far, altho they do some things very differently to how we do them back home! I have been working with the VVF ladies and some of them are hilirious, they laugh and chat away to each other and you have absolutely no idea what they are saying but you just end up laughing with them cos there is nothing else you can do! It seems to be quite laid back on the wards and doesnt seem to be quite as busy but its still early days so we shall see.

There is a screening day today but unfortunately we will be telling most of the people that turn up that we are unable to help them as nearly all our surgical spots have been filled up so it will be a very sad day for many people. I think they still have a few Maxillo facial spots left but all the general surgery and VVF is completely full.

Well I will be sure to update again as soon as something exciting happens.

Until then, Beccy

Coffee & Dessert Evening

Hi all

Well I had my coffee and dessert evening last Saturday night and it was a great success! I raised $1800! I have been so overwhelmed by the generosity and support people have shown me while I have been preparing to head over to Benin and start working on the Mercy Ship.

I want to thank Sophie & JP for speaking on the night about the Mercy Ships organisation and giving everyone that came a good idea of what I will be doing while I'm away. I also want to thank the ladies who helped out with making all the lovely desserts and another thank you to Mark & Marnie for helping run the evening.

I finish up at work next week and fly out the following week on the 14th May to England where I will spend two weeks with family there before flying out to Benin on the 31st of May.

Until next time

Beccy

My first entry!

Hi everyone

Welcome to my blog! I've decided that this is probably the most logistical way for all my family, friends and supporters to keep up to date with all my goings on while I'm away working on the Mercy Ship in West Africa and I will try to update this as often as I can.

So I've had all my immunisations done and my flights are booked, the countdown is now on! Five weeks to go!
Im having a coffee and dessert evening on the 25th of April to do a little bit of fundrasing before I go, so will be sure to post some photos from the night.
Until then
Beccy